Thank you so much those who have already been helping those around you, and thinking of my boy when you do.
If you haven't done your RAK yet, I have created a little card that you can print out and carry around with you, to hand out to those who you help. You don't have to, but if you do, someone else might be able to read about Sebastian, might be able to see that carrying to term with a poor diagnosis can be a joyful and beautiful thing, might be able to see the love of an awesome God, and who knows when you'll be meeting a girl who might be going through this very thing and needs some support. You just never know where God will work. So if you get a chance, please hand out a card, and if you want to you could tell them about my Sebby and my God.
My friend Stacy is also wanting to do something special for her daughter Rachel's Christmas this year, and has planned to do the same thing. Please if you'd print one out for Rachel too, would you like to do something lovely and kind in Rachel's honor too. You can read more about Rachel on Stacy's blog here. And here is her card...
Last night, we took the kids to a local Christmas Carols/play that we go to each year at one of the churches. The kids dressed up in their Christmas clothes, with their little Santa hats, and they grabbed their Christmas Bears that we bought this year. We don't usually buy Christmas bears, but I had wanted to buy one for Sebby's first Christmas, so thought it would be special if all the kids had one.
As we took a few snaps out the front before leaving, I got Jai to run into the house and grab the pic of Seb. The family (kids) photo was just not complete without him. And so, as bittersweet as this photo is, I'm glad I captured it...
And here's one I took of my Sebby's bear and me. I wish I could cuddle HIM though...
The Carols was an enjoyable family night, however there were a few moments when I wanted to cry, when I missed my dear little Sebby. One of my good friends was sitting in front of me with her family of four children, her 6 week old baby boy snuggling into her in a blanket as she sang. It broke my heart just a little bit, that I should have had a little 3 month old on my knee watching the lights reflecting in his eyes, and bouncing him on my knee as we sang along to the Christmas songs.... but all I have is a bear, and I can hardly carry that around with me everywhere without people (and my husband) thinking I'm a bit strange.
Its just the little moments usually.
But I am so thankful that I am held by a strong, loving and passionate God. No, I don't know why this had to happen, but I trust in God. That He will continue to carry me, and that Seb is in a wonderful beautiful place this Christmastime. And that I'll see my sweet boy again one day.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, And with my song I will praise Him.