Thursday, November 10, 2011

Heavy heart...

I have a very heavy heart this morning. Something has been weighing on my heart and mind constantly in the last day.

My friend faces a very bittersweet day today. A day of joy and sorrow all tumbled in together. The reality of this dance of joy and loss. Today she will marvel, love and adore as she meets her precious little darling. But the reality of loss will also prevail. It may not be today, but she will not have nearly enough time to really take in her beautiful girl before she has to let her go to Jesus. Today she will cry tears of joy as well as tears of grief.

My heart breaks.

I have been so very very blessed to be able to walk this road with her. To help her to make memories that will last a life time. To be able to talk openly about our babies and our emotions and what lies ahead. God has put me in this path for a Kingdom reason and I firmly believe this is one of them. To support others going through this.

And as I said, its been an absolute blessing to me. Healing even. To know that there is more to Sebastian's loss that just the heart- ache. There is hope for other's lives, there is connection, there is Love.

But my heart is very heavy this morning. I dreamed of my friend and her baby last night. I worried for her and I grieved for her.

So the things I do today will probably go by in a blur. I am thinking of her at all times. I will be praying fervously for her, and be right there in spirit with her. I will make the call to Heartfelt and to a casting organisation that I was so blessed to have done for me by a fellow babyloss mama. I will be walking right with her.

I will feel her absolute joy that her baby is here! I will congratulate her on her baby's birth. It is a joyful experience!

But I will also mourn for her.

And maybe, just maybe it is bringing up the emotions again that are still so raw from Sebastian's loss. But that is OK. Its ok to think about my boy and what I lost also. The mix of joy and sorrow all in one day. I will probably think about his birthday a lot today, wondering if my friend is making those same precious memories with her angel.

And I will pray.

I ask that you will also. For the Word says that when two or more are gathered in His name, He is there.

Will you please hold my friend and her family and her baby girl up to the Lord today?
Please pray for peace, strength and comfort for them.
Please pray that they have a wonderful supportive nurse (even a Christian one!?) and that they will be able to make the memories they want.
Please pray that they will have peace about the things they cannot have or control.

Will you cover them in prayer with me please.

Matthew 18:19-20
 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Psalm 17:6-8 
I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; 
turn your ear to me and hear my prayer. 
Show me the wonders of your great love, 
you who save by your right hand 
those who take refuge in you from their foes. 
Keep me as the apple of your eye; 
hide me in the shadow of your wings. 

1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. 
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. 
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows. 
Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.



  1. I'm praying for your dear friend & for you as you love & support.
    I pray that she truly feels Gods presence.
    I'm crying for you both as I truly understand this heartache.
    Will keep you all in my prayers today.

  2. I am praying for your friend and for you. It is a beautiful thing that you can carry your loss and let it be an inspiration to help your friend. May the Lord comfort you both and welcome the sweet baby, gently, into his open arms.

  3. I will be praying. Feel for your loss and know a little of what you are going through after a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks in 2009 with my second pregnancy. Now I have a beautiful little 1 year old little girl noisily calling me to her, while she and her big sister of 4years play together.
    It is so wonderful that you can have empathy with your friend today. I too believe that God has a great and prosperous plan or you as written in Jeremiah 29:11.
    May you find complete happiness again. May all the joys that your other children bring drown your sorrows. May the joy of the Lord give you strength. his mercies are new every morning. He loves you. Look at the birds and lilies and know He cares much more for you.
    You are so talented and it would be wonderful to see your beautiful work again. You and my mom inspire me so with your talents and I wanted to start sewing too. I'm more into arts and crafts;)
    Hugs xoox

  4. Nat so proud of you and how you have walked your journey and what a blessing you are to others xo

  5. Couldn't sleep last night - prayed a lot for yor friend and her new daughter. May God's peace surround the family today!

  6. I say this a lot, Nat, but you inspire me. I was thinking of you and your friend today. And I prayed. First time in a long time, but I prayed for you and for her and her family xxx

  7. Thankyou, that means so much Lynn. I want to just say that even before Sienna was born today, that Bec had told me that the prayers were working - the hospital was being wonderful and giving them the things they needed and wanted for Sienna's birth - those little things mean a lot. So thankyou for your prayers (and everyone else!)
    Love you xx

  8. Thank you all for your comments and prayers and love. Its been a hard day for me. I'm heartbroken all over again that my friend has to mourn her sweet girl. I'm heart broken that someone else has to feel this loss too.
    Thank you for your prayers. They have helped already.

  9. Anja, thankyou for all those wonderfully encouraging words from the Scriptures. God is good and even in hard times, his love never fails us.

  10. Thinking of you and praying for you both today. Congratulations to Bec on the birth of Sienna Grace! I'm so so sorry that she has to feel the same pain you went through Nat. I am sure you're both a source of strength, comfort and love to each other and as you say, maybe it's part of God's divine plan that you both met like you have. Sending you both all my love today <3 San xxx

  11. Hi hun,
    It's almost midnight and I'm only just catching up on this news now. Congratulations to Bec and her hubby and family on the arrival of Sienna! What a joy for them to finally get to meet her and hold her in their arms. There must also be so much grief so I'm lifting them up to our Father and asking Him for the comfort and peace they need right now. And for you honey, thinking of you as you remember Seb's birth and life today too.
    I love you mate.
    Lus x

  12. Matt &amp; Stacy AubeNovember 11, 2011 at 10:45 AM

    praying... I have found as I've watched others walk this path after me, I have also re-lived my day with Rachel. It's so hard. Thinking of you both.


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