Tuesday just gone was our one month angelversary. One month since we held our sweet boy.
Time can be a real bitch.
And then suddenly its the next day, and this moment you've been planning and waiting for is over.
Just. Like. That.
The 6 hours we spent with him suddenly seem like nothing at all. The time has come and gone, and time didn't stand still for me. It didn't stop so that I could really savour those memories and burn them into my mind's eye forever. Short-term memories fade easily.
And so when I'm asked if it feels like just yesterday or eons ago, I still don't know. I just know that it was NEVER ENOUGH TIME. And it scares the crap out of me that I won't be able to burn those memories into my mind. And I am forever grateful at this point for the many beautiful photos I have.
And so I digress back to the original point of this post (oops, got sidetracked by my own thoughts there)...
I spent the day on my own at home, day 2 of my anticipated 'me time'. Well I wasn't alone at all. I spent much of the day with my Lord. My worship music filled the house and I thought about my boy. I didn't feel particularly sad that day. Just remembered him as best I could.
God took me on some exciting journeys that day - showed me a few things about my future. Exciting stuff. But I'll come back to that another time.
Greg had secretly arranged to pick up 6 red balloons - one for each member of our family, Seb included of course - so we could have a little balloon release for our boy in our yard, like we had for his funeral. I cried when he told me what he had planned. How sweet is my man. I asked him if he could also pick up a pale pink balloon for my friend Bec's little princess Hannah Grace, who passed away the very same day as Sebby - his angel sister I like to call her.