Finding Rainbows...: A special place for Seb...

We chose to have Sebastian's body cremated, rather than burying him. Mostly because we weren't sure we would be living in Brisbane for the long-term, and I knew I'd want to be close to 'him'. At times I wish we had buried him because I don't have a 'place' to visit my boy. I don't have a place to decorate for Christmas, take flowers etc. I see how other Mamas nurture their baby's gravesite and headstone, and it warms my heart, but I sometimes feel a loss for not having that for Seb.

So we are trying to do what we can to make a little special spot for him in our garden. While it won't be the same as being able to go to a public place (without children around!) where others can also visit, it will be lovely, and I will be able to see it any time I like, right in my own home...

We took a trip to Bunnings the other day (HUGE home improvement/hardware/gardening shop) to purchase some pots for the Seb's rose bush and poinsettias. While we were there, we had a quick look at the garden benches (but not really intending to get one as Greg had looked before Christmas for me and the all wood ones were a little more than we could afford at the time).... and there I saw it! This lovely little wood and black iron one - and only $60 (less than half the all wood one)!! So we added it to our cart! I was so excited to finally have it after talking about getting one for a few months now.

Greg got straight to work putting it together when we got home!

Greg building Seb's garden bench...

He just loved doing this for his boy...

Wishing his little man was sitting just there....

Daddy and Lani testing out the bench...

I've never been much of a gardener - at all. I'm the kinda person you give plants to and they'll most definitely die. But since Seb died, I have really wanted to find something I can love and nurture and 'grow' for my baby. (I think its a mother's instinct to just NEED to look after her baby, even when baby is not here anymore.) And so with renewed passion and motivation and a reason to not kill plants, I am setting out to be a gardener!

OK so not totally. I'm starting with pot plants. And let's see if I can just keep those alive.

But I re-potted Seb's lovely poinsettia's and the red rose bush Greg bought me so they look all pretty now - and hopefully they'll grow!! Strangely enough, I actually thoroughly enjoyed the messy process too.

And we also bought a few more plants to hopefully start a wee bit of a nice leafy look to our patio area.

Carefully potting Seb's poinsettias and rose bush...

They look pretty!!

Might make a gardener out of me yet!

With all my new pot plants...

And so Sebby has a little spot in our garden now. Its still in 'work in progress' mode, but we will add to it as we go. We might end up planting the things in the ground we when learn how to prepare the ground for it (lol), and not totally decided whether it will stay here or on a landing up above the ferns yet... (possibly above). But for now, at least there's something. And we will be getting a little plaque to screw onto the seat too... I love to go and look at his place. And Lani and I have sat down a few times too (although I think she's convinced I'm going to break the bench, gee thanks darling...).