Sewing for Seb...

When pregnant with Malachi, I joined a small group of women who were also due to have their babies in September 2012. One of these women gave me forewarning that her and her husband liked the name Sebastien for their baby if it was a boy; it was really sweet of her to do that, because I think it would have been a bit of a shock to see that name when it wasn't my sweet Seb if I wasn't expecting it. Low and behold, they did have their little Sebastien (spelt the French way), and at first it was a little difficult to see his name thrown around our group, attached to a little boy that unlike my Seb, was very much alive. A little boy that would grow and crawl, and walk, and have his first birthday etc. It was hard. But now I'm used to it, and I don't flinch now when she mentions her sweet Seb.

I have been making some Christmas outfits for some of the babies in this group, and the other day I was sewing one for Sebastien. As I sewed, I thought of another Sebastian, and wished with all my heart that I was sewing a Christmas outfit for my own sweet little (would now be) 15 month old. Despite the feelings this brought, I then smiled and it felt special to be able to sew for a Seb, even if it was not mine. Somewhat therapeutic. Strangely, the contrast of feelings often intertwine in the same moments for me. Feelings of sadness, then somehow of joy too.

I wonder what that little 15 month old would be like now. By that age all of my other children were walking (Lani only just). My Seb (free of T18 of course) would probably be trying to get at the Christmas tree, what wonder and joy those decorations must hold for a small child, especially the first where they really take note and start to understand what's going on around them. The sparkle of excitement in his little eyes. Smiling and laughing at his brothers and sister. Playing peek-a-boo, making mess. Making joy. Things I can only imagine now.

Now I do have another little boy I'm sewing for, and its a joy to do so. But it would be oh so much nicer to have two little blessings in matching Christmas sets. 

Isn't he the cutest thing you ever did see?